


You’ll Be Here When They Are Gone

by Yifera



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Croatoan/Endverse, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Episode: s05e04 The End, Gen, Hurt Castiel, Kinda, Lucifer Possessing Sam Winchester, Sam-Centric, The Author Regrets Everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 05:43:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13496054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yifera/pseuds/Yifera
Summary: Aftermath of 05x04: The End.Castiel reaches the garden where he finds Dean's dead body... and Lucifer sticks around a little bit longer, just to have fun tearing the ex-angel apart. It's easy, he only has to point out Castiel's behaviour through the last five years...





	You’ll Be Here When They Are Gone

**Author's Note:**

> This is a manifestation of two of my headcanons for this episode, the first one is that Endverse!Castiel survives and... well, all the angst that this means. I'll drop the second one on the notes at the end because it could be considered a spoiler!  
> (I also really wanted to write season 5 Lucifer, his calm but ruthless portrayal in it is one of my favorites.)  
> In any way, this episode was very centered in what happened to the world, to Dean and to Cas, and it was amazing, with this I want to explore another subject though.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Castiel stared at the lifeless body in front of him.

The wind and leaves had covered most of his clothes, as if the soil wanted to swallow him as soon as possible. There wasn’t even that much blood. But there was no need for spilled blood for a human body to stop working. A blow to the head, a prolonged loss of oxygen, a broken neck… Yeah, that’s what it had been.

It didn’t matter. Castiel was late. He was always late.

The soil felt rough against his knees and dry against his skin where his trousers had ripped. Dirt crept to the bullet wound there and made his blood throb like acid.

Dean’s eyes were mostly closed, he almost looked as if he were just sleeping or knocked out cold… but Castiel knew better. He didn’t need to check his breathing, he didn’t need to look for his pulse. The vessel in front of him was empty, his friend was gone.

“I have always wanted to talk to you.”

Castiel reached to close his friend's eyes. Thunder cracked the sky. He didn’t bother trying to get up or turn to the voice behind him. He knew who it was.

“Lucifer.”

“Castiel.” Lucifer circled him, his unnaturally white shoes and suit pants almost blinding Castiel’s peripheral vision. He didn’t raise his head to look at the devil as he kept talking. “The fallen angel. Someone could think that would make us similar but… it’s striking how untrue that is.”

“I’m flattered.” Castiel spat out, his throat was dry, he had no more tears to shed.

“I fell from grace with abrupt force, locked away, because of my love for Father. You instead fell slowly, your love for these sad apes acted like poison, slowly killing your grace and turning you into one of them.”

Castiel could rage on, insult and threaten Lucifer to show him just how much he detested his mere existence, keep the fight going until his last breath, like Dean would have done.

Castiel stared at his friend’s dead body.

“Why would you want to talk to me?”

“Mere curiosity.” Lucifer’s feet moved again, as if he were admiring the gray garden around them. “Through these five years, during all Dean’s incursions to try and kill me or… _exorcise_ me from his brother’s body, you had been barely in sight. Always hidden, as backup somewhere else, even though I’m sure you were never less than Dean’s right hand.” Lucifer hummed thoughtfully, as if all this was just a puzzle he had decided to stop and figure out before turning to deal with real important matters. “At first I thought you were scared of me, the coward powerless little seraph who fears facing an archangel but...” Lucifer clicked his tongue. “No, that was not it. If maybe for opposite reasons, we both still went against Heaven and fell because of it… you may hide under drugs and sex like this human did but you are no coward…”

Castiel stared intently at a leaf on Dean’s shoulder, cursing the moment he had decided to indulge himself into a talk with the devil, now he understood a little better why Dean had used to resort to insults and threats when he felt cornered like this.

“You should burn.” Castiel brushed the leaf away curtly, his eyes not leaving the body in front of him.

“Oh, should I? All of me? Including my vessel?” Lucifer said lightly, somehow Castiel knew he was smiling. “Look up, Castiel.”

Castiel gritted his teeth together, gripping Dean’s jacket in his fists. 

“No.”

There was a sigh, and then. 

“ _Cas. Please._ ”

His eyes shot up before Castiel could stop himself. Rage filled his chest. _How dared he?_

The smile in the young man’s features before him had nothing of Sam in it, Castiel hated it, he wanted to destroy it for the monster that was inside and at the same time hide from it as far as possible.

“Sorry.” Lucifer shrugged casually. “That was a good impression wasn’t it? Then again, after so many years in his body it’s not that hard.”

Castiel wanted to turn his eyes away again but somehow he couldn’t. Rage started to mix with despair as he looked at the figure before him, still -even after five years- fighting to separate the body with the being wearing it.

“Yes, _this_ …” Lucifer pointed at Castiel’s face and his eyes narrowed, almost fascinated. “This is what has kept you in the shadows, I was unable to identify it for a very long time. And that, well, was basically because…” He turned his hand, tapping his own temple gently. “I only had his take of you as reference.”

Lucifer smirked again before his features shifted down into something softer and serious, even his posture changed. Castiel held into his charge’s dead body, as if he could protect him from this. From Lucifer resembling anything close to Sam Winchester.

“He is an angel of the lord, and Dean’s best friend.” Father, even his voice was different. “He is a good soldier but it seems like his love for humanity is even bigger than his loyalty for Heaven… he rebelled to try to stop the apocalypse after all.” Lucifer tilted his head inwards a little, an insignificant gesture Sam had used to do when he was about to say something he didn’t enjoy. Castiel wanted to puke. “He is a holy being who will never see me as anything more than the demon blood I consumed and Lucifer’s vessel. I’m sure that being Dean’s family is my only redeeming quality for him. In his eyes, the end will be determined by my lack of force of will... It will be my mistake, my fault. Only mine.”

Lucifer tilted his head upwards and his act was gone, cunning smile back.

“But Sam was wrong wasn’t he?” Another thunder roared above them, lighting up the covered sky for a moment and flashing painful white from Lucifer’s clothes. “Because if you only saw him as my vessel…” Not taking his eyes from Castiel, Lucifer bent until he was almost sitting on his heels, only Dean’s body separating them now. “Why can’t you help but see _him_ when you look at me?”

A cold sweat run through Castiel’s back, the pain from his leg piercing through him like the lighting above. Lucifer leaned in closer and Castiel barely managed to stand his ground without flinching, his chest screaming in agony.

“If you thought all this was Sam’s fault, why do you avoid looking at this form so much? Why would you suggest Dean to try and cast me out first instead of destroying me?”

Castiel didn’t even want to try to figure out how the hell he knew that. He didn’t care, he didn’t want to know. Everything was over and here he stood, kneeling on the ground, holding his leader, charge and best friend’s cold body as Lucifer got some last kicks out of him by tearing him apart from the inside.

“You feel guilty.” Lucifer’s voice was sweet and sympathetic, it cut like knives through Castiel’s skin. “I can only guess, but I would say… is it guilt for not trying to stop him? For not attempting to get a little closer to him? Maybe you think degrading him for so long was what eventually had him turn to me…” He let out a pleased sigh. “And it was. Dean was his principal pillar, but you… he _respected_ you. You were a ‘good’ angel, one that for him represented what heaven should act like. Sam was always faithful... and your angelic support could have given him enough strength to do the ‘right thing’.”

Castiel knew this, he knew this, he had known this all along. And he hadn’t…

“But instead you and Dean… oh, you made such a _wonderful_ job out of the kid. I should thank you, really.”

Lucifer rose a hand and this time Castiel did flinch… but the devil only patted him once on the shoulder. Another cruel mockery. Then he got to his feet in a smooth graceful movement, towering over Castiel once again.

“I don’t think I will kill you today. After all, you are harmless against me.” He made a gesture with his hand towards Dean’s body. “Not that he wasn’t, but… he was getting better.”

Lucifer started to walk away and Castiel coughed, he was bleeding so much he wasn’t sure he was going to make it anyway.

“Sam…” Castiel’s voice was rusty, his throat felt like it was on fire. Lucifer stopped in his tracks. “Sam, I’m so sorry.”

Castiel curled against Dean’s form, he was apologizing for him too. And to him. He didn’t care if the devil heard him. If there was a chance Sam was still in there… Castiel didn’t care about opening himself raw if there was a remote possibility to reach him.

Maybe it was a foolish hope, Sam’s soul probably hadn’t survived this long, and probably for the best… But if the man he once knew was in there, trapped in his own body, only being able to watch and regret having said ‘yes’ for all eternity… then he had to tell him.

“Sam, it wasn’t your fault... You fought it, you did everything in your hands to prevent it, and I’m sorry I didn’t believe in you... _I’m sorry_ I wasn’t there to help you…” He looked at the man’s wide back and for a moment he indulged himself into the illusion that it was Sam listening to him. “None of this is your fault...”

Lucifer turned to look at him for a moment, observing his dying form on the ground with curiosity.

He hummed.

“You know, Castiel… having a voice inside your head without blocking it can be highly distracting, but sometimes I like to... just take it in. So I take off my, you could say, ‘internal earplugs’...” He made a gesture to his head. “Just so I can hear his screams. His futile desperate attempts to take control of his body again.”

Castiel shook his head in dismay, trembling. His throat closed up and blurted out a dry mix between a cough and a sob, he buried his head in Dean’s cold shoulder and apologized over and over, to Sam, to Dean, to the whole world...

Feet away Lucifer breathed in deeply and closed his eyes as if he were enjoying the sound of music. A delighted smile curled his lips upwards. 

“Today… Sam’s cries are particularly delightful.”

**Author's Note:**

> Second headcanon: Sam is still kicking inside Lucifer, and Lucifer doesn't bother from sparing him anything he does, he just mutes him and let's Sam see the world burn because of his choice.  
> Hahaha yeah.... I'll go sit in a corner now.
> 
> Also I have no idea how to rate this, I would say mature because of all the implied violence and death and psychological torture buuuut... I'm really not sure, suggestions? (I'll just leave it unrated if not)
> 
> Tell me what you think? I'll love to hear it :)


End file.
